For those familiar with my book, you may recall a technique I developed to ease my stress, worries, and anxiety by visualizing placing them inside a box, allowing me to sleep better at night. Over the years, that technique evolved to the point where I no longer needed to imagine the box; I could effortlessly switch off my thoughts whenever I wished.
In addition to that technique, whenever I felt extremely stressed or agitated, I sought solace in Vondelpark—a beautiful park nearby my house. Finding a quiet spot, I would settle into one of the wooden chairs, close my eyes, and immerse myself in the surroundings—the chirping of birds, the splashing of water from a fountain, or the gentle murmur of people passing by. Gradually, I would drift into my own zone for about 10 minutes. I cherished those moments even more during a light storm, feeling the winds swirling around me and up into the sky. Strangely, each time, I found myself enveloped in a sense of calm and peace.
All these experiences—I had always thought they were just my very personal ways of coping with stress or simply enjoying the moment. I never realized they had a name too—that’s “Meditation”
When I made this amusing and satisfying discovery, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Somehow, I had been meditating all these years even without knowing it! Although my “meditation” wasn’t structured and occurred sporadically—only when I experienced intense negative emotions—it had unknowingly laid a strong foundation for my further meditation practice. This realization explained why I was able to quiet my thoughts so effortlessly in Tim’s class.
Fueled by curiosity, I welcomed meditation with open arms into my daily routine, eager to uncover the truth behind the benefits I had heard so much about and to explore what lay ahead.
Here is a snapshot of what I wrote down in my journal about my first official “mediation” session.
Thursday 09/03/2023 11:11
I’ve just completed my first 30-minute self-guided meditation, and as I write this, tears still stream down my face. I didn’t anticipate crying, let alone throughout the entire session.
The moment I went deeper into the meditation, tears began to flow, eventually turning into sobs. I DID NOT know why I was crying. This quickly reminded me of the tears I had in Tim’s class. My mind then and now was both empty and very light. I felt a profound sense of calmness, happiness, and ultimate freedom. It felt as if a big emotional release was being lifted off.
I felt love emanating from every part of my being, as if all the entities—my emotions, my thoughts, and my rational mind—were united as “ONE”. While I had always maintained a close and harmonious relationship with all of them, this experience seemed to deepen our connection to the next level. It was as though by quieting the external noise, I began to hear more from within.
Curious about my own reaction, I turned to Google and discovered that crying during meditation is quite common. It indicates that there are unresolved emotions lingering within the subconscious. When the mind is silenced during meditation, these suppressed feelings can surface, evoking strong emotional responses in the form of tears.
This revelation left me utterly amazed and even more motivated to keep meditation as an integral part of my daily existence. It felt as if an enchanting and mystical world was eagerly awaiting my exploration and discovery.
** This chapter is part of a TEN-chapter series— don’t miss any part of the story! Stay updated and read more chapters from this series here:
- Part 1: What the Heck is Meditation? Definitely Not for Me!
- Part 2: Attempts to Convert Me into a Believer—The Universe?! Good Luck with That!
- Part 3: God, Allah, Buddha, and the Universe—Help Me! I Beg for Mercy!
- Part 4: The Planted Seeds
- Part 5: My Surrender Experiment
- Part 6: Are These Signs from the Universe?
- Part 7: The Epiphanies
- Part 8: How Meditation Changed Me and My Life
- Part 9: The Most Phenomenal and Bizarre Experience of My Life
- Part 10 (Final): The Power of Going Within
